


Report Card

by FreshMangoJuice



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Angst, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 01:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreshMangoJuice/pseuds/FreshMangoJuice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the end of term. Little Rimmer has got his school report card to deliver to his father and it doesn’t look good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Report Card

 

> _Dear Mr Rimmer,_
> 
> _I regret to inform you that your son’s progress this term has been nothing short of abysmal._

Hazel eyes blinked back tears hot with shame and fear. Trembling hands searched through a well-worn satchel and extracted an envelope marked _A. Rimmer_ and sealed with the school crest.

 

> _As you can see from the enclosed report card he scored shockingly poorly in every SAQ test, ranking even lower this term than in the previous._

He didn’t understand every word but he understood enough. He was a failure, a disappointment.

 

> _He has displayed a complete lack of aptitude for all of the core curriculum subjects. I recommend that we meet as a matter of urgency to discuss his situation._

As he passed the patio doors he could hear his brothers laughing outside. They always came home with certificates proclaiming them ‘Best in the Class’ or ‘Top of the Year’. The envelope he was carrying proclaimed him worthless. It felt like holding his own death warrant and he had to deliver it to the executioner himself.

His walk through the house was over all too soon when he found his father in the kitchen. Only three steps left before his entire world would fall apart. For a wild moment he imagined running away but then he was spotted lurking in the doorway and it was too late.

Only three steps.

Too late for the letter to spontaneously combust or for the words to magically rearrange themselves into something else.

Only two steps.

Too late for a pterodactyl to swoop in and snatch the envelope out of his grasp.

Only one step.

Too late to suddenly not be useless at everything.

He handed over the death warrant wordlessly and waited for the axe to fall.

“What’s this?” His father frowned as he scanned the pages.

Then suddenly his face cleared. “But this is fantastic. Well done m’boy! You got a B in Art & Design? Good lad! I knew we had a budding artist in the family. That painting you did of Jupiter was absolutely marvellous! When it comes down off the classroom wall I want it framed in my study.”

“You’re... you’re not mad?” The dreaded axe didn’t seem to be falling as anticipated.

“Of course I’m not mad Alfie!” his father laughed. “Just look, you’ve improved so much in English and in Science too. I’m really proud of you.”

“But Mr Abrams’ letter said...”

Alfie sniffed, missing the sight of his father’s slightly clenched jaw and flared nostrils – the only visible signs of a suppressed flash of anger. Then, before another word could be spoken, Arnold Rimmer crouched down in front of his youngest child and looked into the hazel eyes that were so like his own.

“Don’t you worry what silly Mr Abrams says. Alfred, you are a very creative, very bright young lad. Mummy and I are so proud of everything you’ve done this term and I just know you’re going to do even better next term. Okay?”

Alfie nodded hesitantly.

Arnold beamed. “Alright then! Now what would you like for a treat this supper?”

There was no hesitation now. “Can I have ice cream?”

“Of course you can m’laddio! Now off you go and play outside till I call you in.”

“Ok dad.” Alfie ran off but returned almost immediately looking thoughtful. “You know you wanted the Jupiter painting Daddy? Well, the thing is Mummy already asked for it. Only she asked yesterday.”

“What! She did? Sneaky Mummy!”

Alfie giggled.

“Alright then. Maybe you can paint me a special one? Just for me.”

Alfie nodded eagerly. “Okay then. Oh and Dad, can I have chocolate ice cream please?”

“Absolutely!”

And off Alfie went again, any ghosts of axes long since vanquished with a puff of ice cream and the glow of his father’s praise.

 

* * *

 

“So not too bad then, overall.” Yvonne McGruder looked up over the frame of her glasses. “I think I’ll start giving him some extra maths lessons at the weekend but he’ll catch up in no time.”

“I am going to have a word or two with the ray of sunshine that is Mr Abrams,” Rimmer said darkly. “The man has about as much empathy as a lump of coal.” He threw a quick glance out the window to check the boys were out of earshot.

“Where the _smegging_ hell does he get off writing something like this?” he hissed violently. “I mean, did you see this? ‘ _Your son’s progress this term has been nothing short of abysmal_ ’. For crying out loud the poor kid’s barely seven. He was devastated!”

“The children aren’t supposed to read those!” Yvonne snatched the letter from her husband. “But of course he must have sneaked a look... Oh, but this is ridiculous… Poor Alfie… Well thank goodness he seems fine now,” she ended with relief watching him play happily outside.

“You didn’t see him earlier, Evie. Pale as a hologram. Looked like he was walking to the gallows or something. That goited teacher! That smegging son of a GELF. I swear when I get my hands on him I’m going to–” He stopped suddenly and buried his face in his hands, all the fight seeming to drain out of him at once.

“Arn darling, are you alright?” Yvonne asked, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.

He let out a long, shuddering breath and turned to her deflated. “I just don’t want Alfie to feel like a miserable failure. Like I did.”

For moment, as she held his gaze, Yvonne thought she saw the shadow of the frightened boy on the face of the grown man. She smiled gently.

“You don’t need to worry Arnold. With a father like you, he’s going to be just fine.”

**Author's Note:**

> My first bit of fanfiction on here. Comments gratefully received - be as specific as you like!


End file.
